Put the word out—we back up.
July was wet, hot, and seriously had me questioning my commitment to pants. Somehow, we still got dressed.
Here’s everything I was fuckin’ with in July.
Had on Deck
Nike Standard Issue 5” Practice Mesh Basketball Shorts
In life, it’s important to feel the breeze. Between what had to be record heat and becoming the dad who stepped up for this dog, I needed something easy to toss on but still handsome.
These are not my favorite mesh shorts. They’re easy to find, look good enough to own in multiples, and don’t feel too precious to pick up dog shit in.
They’re a little different from everyone else’s gym shorts without screaming, Look at me, I do clothes.
orSlow Super Dads
These have taken over the top spot in my jeans rotation, unseating a pair from Gap whose seat has seen better days.
I try my best to wear pants whenever I’m doing anything of note because, well, dons don’t wear shorts. The legs give you enough breathing room that you don’t feel like you’re sweating through them, plus a zipper fly because I don’t have the patience for button flies—summer moves fast.
As a bonus, they make my ass look great.
3sixteen Square-Toe Side-Zip Boots in Mushroom Suede
Square-toe suede boots in the summer—the performative male’s version of wearing Timbs to the beach? They just might be, but I don’t care. They look good.
I hold these boots near and dear, checking the forecast before I let them leave the house. But when the weather gives you an opening, you have to strike.
The forecast said clear. I’m zipping up.
Swiped For
Sage Nation Chisholm Shirt
It’s important to stay dialed. The sales are on right now, boys and girls, and they’re hitting.
In a month full of R&D, this one earned top marks. The shirt catches enough breeze without making you look like a parasail, and the color combo makes you look like you really know what you’re doing.
Closet Organization Setup
To live somewhere walkable is to eventually run out of space. That happened to me long ago. I lived in denial longer.
With a baby coming, I finally had to stop pretending the mess would sort itself out. Bins, cedar blocks, labels, and desiccant packs were acquired. Then, to commemorate my maturity, I grabbed a few Stüssy x THOR bins. It’s like a reward.
It is always fashionable to go high-low—even in the storage unit.
Mets Fitted
Remember how I said I wasn’t wearing Timbs to the beach? Well, I will be wearing a fitted.
I haven’t worn one since high school, but after a summer of being disgusted by the Mets, I decided to give them some of my hard-earned money anyway.
Sometimes you don’t want something niche. You want something everyone can have—that you just do better.
Put Away
One McGriddle a Week
God bless me, it’s summer.
Totally influenced by The Bear, I ordered a sausage-and-cheese McGriddle—NO EGG—then tossed a hash brown inside to make it exact. Damn, did I forget how good these are.
You take one bite and think, I could eat this every day. From what I understand, you should not.
So, once a week—usually Friday morning, at a time far too early for the large Diet Coke I inevitably order—I take one down.
Keeping It Tight
In direct opposition to one McGriddle a week, I’ve really been trying to keep it tight. Well, because you gotta keep it tight.
For me, that means working the ones and twos on the food scale, eating a lot of grilled chicken, and swapping some of my ice cream—don’t worry, Ice Cream Summer is still going strong—for way too many no-sugar-added popsicles.
Vegetables remain uninvolved. As I’ve already stated, lettuce is a scam.
Screens & Scribbles
Death of a Salesman
Good things happen when you don’t turn everything into a musical.
Now, I love Grease as much as the next guy—a lot—but I’ve been pushing a more plays, fewer musicals agenda for a long time. Death of a Salesman is my favorite play, and this production cooked and I cried.
I’m tempted to see it again, but I don’t know if I have the emotional—or swipe—capacity.
Mad Men
I’m not going to go on and on about this. I’ve been rewatching Mad Men on and off for a few months, but this month I tuned in heavy. The screens overtook the scribbles, which led to a less-than-impressive reading month for me.
If you haven’t watched it, watch it. If you’ve already watched it, watch it again.
Dungeon Crawler Carl: The Eye of the Bedlam Bride
I’ve been chipping away at the series, and I’m probably 25 percent through this one. I promise I’ll be better next month.
The only other book I finished was Waist Deep. Mid at best.
Ear Stuff
Good Hang — John Cena
Good Hang was recommended to me by my friend Joe, and I’ve been listening sporadically over the past month. But I will never pass up the opportunity to hear from the GOAT.
John Cena makes you want to say the pledge and call your mom.
Jersey Shore Bangers
Ain’t nothing like summer down the shore. So electric.
I may be past my napkin-throwing, clock-beating prime, but that doesn’t mean I can’t relive the glory from the driver’s seat. Nostalgia is stronger than Grails anyway.
Toss on “Calling,” follow it with Tamia’s “Stranger in My House”—the Thunderpuss Club Mix, of course—and suddenly I’m back.
Maybe I’ll even cut the mozzarella.
Red Rising Series — Quick Update
We made it to the final book in the first trilogy, and I’m strategically dosing myself because I’m not quite ready for it to end.
Already Over
Funky Feet
Whether you spend $150 on sandals or buy dollar-store flip-flops, getting your dogs done is a prerequisite.
You don’t just owe it to yourself—you owe it to the people around you.
Coveting
Butter Yellow
As I said, we all do trends. Though I’m keeping my toes between myself and God this summer, I am all in on being a butter-yellow baby.
After weeks of scouring the internet for the perfect butter-yellow piece—which I was sure would be a lightweight summer knit—I landed on this tee from MAN-TLE. It kills two birds with one stone: I’ve been flirting with the brand too, but wanted to ease in before diving into the outerwear.
Hopefully this month’s covet makes the grade. Last month’s already flunked out.
• • •
What made your July Mount Rushmore—and what would you rather forget?
-SP
The gap to OrSlow pipeline
Enjoyed this one. Might finally have to dive head into Mad men. Glad you are finally dipping your toes in the Man-tle waters!